Part 3 of Emotions

 The Waiting to Be Picked 

This time is the longest. 
It can be months or years 
(currently we have been in this section for over two years) 

It’s a roller coaster, a never ending ride  and the track can change in a quick moment. Every morning you get online hoping you can grab that first car so you can see what is ahead of you but sadly that front car is for those who have already completed the process before! You are stuck in the back riding blind, trying to learn how to control your emotions with each loop and dip you hit along the way. Some days it’s a pretty smooth with a disappointing ride that ends at night. Then you wake the next morning to ride again. Other days you get lucky to get on a track that takes you on a multi day ride. Ups and downs of emotions, loops of hope, spirals of  questions, only to end in a disappointing plumit to the exit or if your lucky you get to stay on for another ride. 

This processes if difficult because your still navigating how to handle you emotions without anyone knowing. Everyday you wake up not knowing if you will hear from the agency so you try to live your normal life, but in the back of you head your on that line for the roller coaster. You try not to get on but then you see a commercial for diapers or baby food and BAM! your on that ride wondering if you will hear anything today! And the days you do hear from them you have to hurry up so you can wait..... hurry up and decided if you want your profile shown....hurry up to see if Jeff agrees...then you answer them and start the wait. Depending on the situation you may have small feed back with questions or scheduling a meeting, or you just wait to find out if you have been picked or not. It takes days when your profile is shown so your trying to control any excitement. No matter what you check your email multiple times a day just in case you hear something...

And if you hear nothing or don't get picked you move on to a new day on the same old roller coaster.