As many of you know we have to accumulate 30 hours of education to adopt. Those hours area a combination of classes, book reading, and other sources of education. Of course we don't get to pick when the classes are, and when the time works we jump in on a class.
This class was going to work out perfect. It was being held on June 29th (my birthday) which happed to be a Saturday this year. That meant Jeff wouldn't have work, and he wouldn't take over time because it was the most important day of Donnika (ask me and I will explain about this great holiday).
So when they sent out a request to see who would attend I let them know if it happens we will be there!
Fast forward 2 months to my birthday and guess who can't attend the class! Yup Jeff has switched job locations and due to his schedule would no way be able to wake up and pay attention during class. So I woke up bright and early, grabbed my coffee and headed to the agency for a 4 hour class.
I was excited for us to take this class because they had speakers each from a different part of the adoption triad.
We started the class with an adoptive father who shared his point of view. He talked about the long wait, emotions from a dads point of view on not being picked, and the excitement when it finally happens. He and his wife had a son before they went on the adoption journey so he talked about that dimension and how they talk to nieces and nephews about their daughters adoption. I wish Jeff was there to hear him speak but I know God had his hand on it so there was a reason I was there and he wasn't.
The next speaker we heard from was a young women who was adopted. She had an interesting journey on how she got to be adopted but that isn't for me to tell. What she was really there to share about was being part of a transracial family and her point of view on the challenges she had to face. She was raised by a very white family, in a middle class suburban town. Her adoptive parents (her birth parents were still a big part of her life so that is why I am using these terms) always told her they didn't see her skin color and loved her for who she was. She mad the point that simple line made her struggle with finding her identity as a dark skinned Hispanic young women. She knew that they meant the best but when you look different from your adoptive family being confident in your different skin can bring its own challenges. She told many stories during her speech but this one thing stuck with me. Maybe because I always find beauty in the diversity of the people who have entered my life, and skin tone difference is one of the things I have loved. She was truly beautiful inside and out, but I wondered if her adoptive family ever looked her in the eye and said to her you look so beautiful.
Isn't outside beauty something we all struggle with?
The third speak from the triad was a birth mom. She was a returning favorite and you could tell those who had heard her speak in the past adored her. I understood why a few minutes into her speaking. She was open, honest, and excited because she would be meeting her son for the first time in person after a decade since his birth. She talked about how she rushed to the agency every year for her updates from his parents. How she treasured his parents for all they had done for him, how they created wonderful updates for her, and how they agreed to allow her to meet them and their son in person even though it wasn't part of the adoption plan. She talked about how excited she was to hear his voice and see him in person. To think that she was his birthmother, she saw pictures of him, had updates on his interests, life adventures, yet had never heard him speak. I tried to put myself in her place in that moment and I could only imagine the sleepless nights leading up to the meeting. I saw how she didn't want to be his mother she just wanted to know he is happy and doing well. I prayed that night and every night since then that our future child has an amazing mother like her. Someone I would know would always cherish them as will cherish them.
During this class we also heard from a lady who works for a non-profit that provides education assistance, and other support to those in the adoption triad in the state of New Jersey. She explained the new laws for adoptees to get their original birth certificates with their birth parents names on it, how they provide resorces for counseling, and that we can use any of their resources.
It was a long day for class and afterwards I had to head home and pick up Jeff and Winnie. We headed down the shore and had to do some adoption homework! Of course because it's been a year since our background check, fingerprints, and health update.
So here we are getting ready for our annual home visit!
