It's all about Pictures

So when you are making an adoption profile you start to realize how bad you photograph.

And I don't mean oh I blinked in that photo but more like why do I look like death in photo's!

Then you start to realize that the only pictures you have with your loving husband are from your trips to Disney World. Why is this? Well that's easy because I'm the one taking all the pictures. That and the fact that Jeff and I get all awkward when someone tells us to stand together for a picture and I'm normally a hot mess by the time photo's start to get taken. I'm not hair and make up girl so normally after sight seeing all day I look a mess. I wish I was a hair and make up girl but the past few years I have lost interest in trying out what to do with my hair so the pony tail is the way for me!

So what do you do when you have a limited time and a limited budget but need some great pictures to start and end the profile? Simple you call your amazing friend Joe and ask if he could see if his very talented sister Rachel would take photo's of you. We were willing to pay, we had seen some of her amazing work, and we knew she would be just as sweet as her big brother.

So on a hot day in August we meet up with Rachel at one of our favorite locations to snap some pictures. Van Campen Inn was built in the mid 1700's as a residents in the rural farm land along the Delaware River. It was a stop on for stage coaches heading along Old Mine Rd which ran from Philadelphia to Boston. It is now a historical site that sits in the Delaware Water Gap National Recreation Area. It is a piece of history and now it is also part of ours.

Since I'm so pale we tried to take some pictures in the shade but odd shadows didn't help. We were surprised that pale Donna does good against white steps. Of course Jeff loved having the pictures on the steps, but he takes great pictures no matter where he is. So after playing around we were very excited to see how great the pictures came out and there was just one more we just had to have....

Our family isn't complete with out our Winnie!

Rachel did a great job and we walked away with the perfect pictures for our profile.

Home Inspection!!!

Monday~ August 8th

So today we had the final step in the home study!! We spent the last two weeks cleaning the condo and finally getting things organized. I ended having to miss my cousins birthday party because I let the stress of the moment get to me. I cleaned, organized, cleaned again, and got rid of papers I have been keeping for no reason. We worked our butts off this weekend making sure the condo was dusted top to bottom and Jeff even cleaned the carpets. The condo looks great, the doggies smell has gone away and then I made one of our favorite meals. And so on Sunday night we realized the condo smelled! Thank God for our wonderful neighbor who let us use their Febreze and the smell of that wonderful meal was gone.

On Monday morning Jeff, Vickie, Winnie, and I woke up finished some last minute details and waited for our social worker to show up. The condo had the sweet smell of melting wax, the dog was basking in the sun and Vickie was on the hunt for bed bath and beyond coupons for work. Bright sun light soaked through the windows giving the condo that extra little glisten that made me love it to start with and she finally arrived. It was time for that final inspection. The confirmation we lived where we said we lived, and the condo was indeed a safe clean home for our future baby.

Of course I was stuck on a work call when she arrived so Jeff showed her around and I joined them shortly there after. Vickie lucked out with some small talk and confirmation that she indeed has a bedroom here and I didn't make her up. Then it was time for us to sit and talk. She had seen our home, saw that we have our guns locked away, and indeed the home was super clean. A normal weekend dusting and vacuuming was probably all I needed but I was calmer knowing the house was extra clean.

We sat and talked and found out that we indeed had finished the home study! We had passed completing everything is just under 3 months. We are ready to matched with an expected mom! Of course this also means we sit and wait. We wait to be picked and only God knows when that will happen. But we will be ready to bring home that baby when God tells us it is the time!

2nd & 3rd Meetings

So my plan was to have pictures to accompany all my posts but I'm excited to say things are happening fast! Of course the home study portion is all about hurry up and wait. We have 6 months to complete the home study and once it is done we going into a holding pattern. The sooner we finish the home study the sooner our profile is available for the expected parents to see.

So on my birthday we had our 2nd meeting. I worked a half day and then Jeff and I headed to Bergen County to meet with our social worker. This meeting was all about reviewing the stack of paperwork and going over what was missing. Of course our back ground checks through the state still hadn't returned and a few more papers were needed to be filled out. We were very excited to receive the forms on how to set up our profile book. We knew this would happen but to have it happen so fast made us excited. So we headed out from our meeting ready to celebrate my birthday.

Our third meeting was our one on one interviews. This would also be our last meeting in Bergen County during the home study. It was scheduled for two weeks after the last meeting but at the last minute it was delayed a week. Once again I worked a half day before we headed down. We knew that each of us would meet with our social worker for at least 45 minutes privately so we brought our books with us. Our one on ones was all about finding out about our childhoods, families, and our marriage. Even though we had both wrote autobiographies she still asked questions. I have to admit it was easier to talk about it then write about it. We did find out that the state back ground checks still hadn't been returned so that is the only thing delaying us. Since she isn't worried about that because we had such great letters of recommendations she was ready to schedule our home inspection!

So we left with two weeks to be ready for her to come to our home. She looks forward to meeting Vickie and finally have a chance to talk to her. We will also have to have our profile ready for her to review so that it can be sent to print!

Wish us luck as we get ready to finish the home study! 

Baby Care Workshop

This is our baby!

Jeff and I got to take our first workshop!

During this great workshop you had 6 couples and a wonderful nurse sitting in a small office with very little air conditioning. Oh and it was for 3 hours! We learned what many would expect to learn at a baby care class like swaddling, feeding, and car seats.

Yet before we got to the fun stuff like how to burp a baby and how to expect to never sleep again we had the adoption section of new baby. This was the section that isn't talked about much and people who don't adopt never think about. When your adopting you spend so much time planning to brig the baby home that you never think about what happens when the baby is born. Since Jeff nor I will be the one going through labor and pushing the baby out we won't be the ones making those first decisions. We will not be the ones who the baby is handed to or the ones who will have the matching wrist bands. If we are even invited to the hospital we will be just guests. This first part was the realty that I personally was not wanting to think about. This is the expected parents time to make sure adoption is what they want to do. This is the time I don't want to get to attached but at the same time want to be part of. The class helped me understand the different things that will happen and how it truly varies from hospital to hospital. It has helped me truly want to go with the flow so that the expected parents have their time to say goodbye.

The next part was the 2nd fact of adoption. Travel! Since the probability of our child being born locally is like 1% we have to be prepared to travel. It could be an hour away or many hours away. We also have to be ready to stay in a hotel for a week or more while the paperwork is processed. If our future child is born in a different state the process to come home is a bit longer. There are laws to protect babies from being sold and we have to make sure our paper work is done before crossing state lines. We also learned about bonding with baby and how the baby may not want to be held. Most people don't realize that a new born already knows their birth mothers voice and the smells of the hospital is their normal. When your adopting an infant those sounds and smells are taken from them so it is important to understand bonding will take a bit longer then normal.

The final part was the normal baby care many would expect. We learned about the different ways to hold a baby while burping, the different ways to warm a bottle, and how to bath a baby. We also learned about car seats and swaddling. The wonderful nurse reassured us that even those babies are cute there will be times we need to hand the baby off and walk away. Sleep will be a blessing and everyone has their specialty when dealing with the new family member.

We were sent home with a packet of papers including care seat check list, vaccination information, and how to bond with baby. My favorite sheet is the shopping list. The this is real and these are the things you will need when baby is born shopping list. That one sheet makes me feel no different then any one of my friends and family members who have been pregnant. It is my happy I'm so excited list. This was our first OMG this is for real class. It was the first step for us to feel like expecting parents and we loved every moment of it.

Folder

We are excited and relieved to have finished all the piles of paperwork!!! Well almost all the paperwork...

We completed 99.9% of the paperwork. Still being worked on is the auto biographies we are each required to complete. We also are currently reading the books that are required. So as of now we have completed enough stuff to move forward with the second meeting. When is that second meeting? It just happens to be scheduled for my birthday! What a great gift for me to be able to work towards starting our family on my 40th birthday!

Jeff and I are so excited that we moving so smoothly through the home study. Knowing that we are one step closed to finishing our home study is so exciting. We like to compare it to being about 4 months pregnant. The time when your family knows your expecting but it's still to soon to start shopping!

So until the next blog I hope everyone has a blessed day and enjoy sharing in our excitement!

Cleaning

As many people know one of the big things in adoption is the home study. Of course as I have mentioned in earlier posts there is more to a home study then the actually inspection of the home but there is an inspection at the end. Since Jeff and I have lived in our home for 5 years now things have collected and dust is a major collections!

So we cleaned. Well in the process of cleaning. Everything! Everywhere! And purged!! First we worked in our office aka the half the kitchen. This area tends to collect a lot for the simple fact that our heavy trash and recycling gets put there. Also any hunting and fishing equipment that hasn't been put away yet ends up in front of the desk. So we dedicated one full day to just cleaning that. Mind you we moved all the furniture, mopped the floor, and reorganized the room.

Then we rearranged the living room. Well I rearrange the living room twice a year so this year I happened to have help. Later that night I did the dinning room by myself. Fear of breaking the glass in my china cabinet kept me from moving it but I did my best to dust behind it. I know they aren't going to look behind the furniture but as a girl with a dust mite allergy I prefer to get rid of all the dust! Mind you Jeff and I have 24 hours off at the same time! Of that 24 hours one or both of us are asleep for 12 -16 hours and I have church. So doing spring cleaning like this takes multiple Sundays. One per room is our average but during that we are still trying to have a social life, do the adoption paperwork, read the books require, start taking classes, and oh yeah spend time together to make sure we keep focused on our marriage. Maybe it's good adoption is costing us so much money because we are so busy we don't realize we have no money!!

Then came Memorial Day Weekend! Most people get all excited about going to the beach, going to BBQ's, and visiting family. Jeff and I tackled our bedroom. A room that hasn't been rearranged ever! Other then cleaning what I could get to quickly between sleep schedules the bedroom hadn't had a good cleaning in a year. Plus all the furniture in our bedroom is heavy! So instead of spending time with family or spending the day at the range shooting we cleaned. Again. Jeff had worked over time that weekend so he wasn't 100% and I was moody from missing out on a get together to clean. But we cleaned and cleaned and Jeff moved furniture and we cleaned again.

Then when we were done the room felt empty! Why empty you ask? During all the cleaning Jeff and I have decided that Winnie didn't need the kennel anymore. So after 5 years her kennel has left the room. So as we prepared to move one baby into our bedroom we had to accept that our first baby isn't so little anymore. So as we prepare for parenthood in this private, lonely way our emotions range. Many people don't understand, many don't care, but we clean and we get ready to be parents. Please understand during this time we aren't being anti-social, we are cleaning and we are adoption poor. And even though we may have our moments were we wish we could go and do whatever both of us know there isn't anything else we would rather do then prepare for our future. 

Medical Forms and Finger Prints!

Two of the forms that came in our home study packet are the medical form and the finger prints. Both require little of us other then showing up and doing as we are told.

The medical forms was pretty easy. We are blessed with a wonderful nurse Nicole and a great doctor we call Dr. D. Since Nicole had been informed ahead of time that we were pursuing adoption she was not surprised when I showed up with the forms. After we reviewed them together she recommended that Jeff and I make a joint appointment and come in to see Dr. D. Quick and easy we had our appointment for the next week. On the day of the appointment we reviewed our records, got our Tuberculosis test, and then it was time to have our drug test. Dr. D is a great guy with huge smile and always a sly comment so when he made a joke about hoping we passed the test we were not surprised. What did surprise us was when we left the exam room to go to the nursing station Nicole made the same joke word for word. Three days later we returned to have the tuberculosis test checked and have Dr. D joke with us that he was disappointed that we passed the drug test. Always joking but also so happy for us as we go on this great journey.

The second thing that had to be done was get our finger prints done. The new modern way of doing it is to make an appointment with a private company that the state uses and go have computer scanned finger prints done. It's not a cheap process costing us $56 a person and included Vickie. She had been through this for her job so she was a pro and had it scheduled and done with no issues. I on the other hand was over stressed and had so many dates in my head that I mess ours up. I had made the original appointments wrote everything on the form down and told Jeff the wrong day. Yes we showed up 1 day late! So I had to go home, go online make a new appointment and pay again! Finally today we had our appointment and got our finger prints done. Its pretty simple with the new system because there is no ink involved just a scanner, computer, and finger printing expert. Of course if the computer doesn't like the way the scan comes through you have to keep doing it. I was told I have awesome fingers for printing because the computer took everyone on the first time! Jeff well his thumbs and the computer didn't agree! But we were finished in ten minutes and out the door. The picture above is the hail we encountered on the way home from the finger printing office. IT'S JUNE!