2 and a 1/2 months

I have been thinking over the past few weeks what I wanted to write about this month. Should I write about the emotional roller coaster adoption is? What about how sensitive you become to words and phrases? What about how we have been wanting to plan trips but are afraid to make plans because we don't know what the future holds? Three great topics all can fill pages of a blog.

So I'm going with a topic that covers all of them. Pictured above is the Adoption Triangle. On the one side you have Jeff and me, we are the adoptive parents. We currently have no connections to the other two sides. We will be one day in Gods time and until then we pray for them to be safe. On the other side is the birth parents they may or may not at this time be expecting parents. That only God knows. The final side is the adopted child who has no say in this processes. God will protect them and love them.  

Jeff and I have started to learn that we are already emotionally involved in a process that has no time line. I personally have learned that there are emotions that I never thought I would feel. We have not met an expected mother yet, yet I have wondered what it must be like for one to be going through this. I have watched interviews, read books, and searched on line but unless you are in their shoes you will never really know. I wonder how I will feel when the day comes that I hold my future child and realize the birthmother is mourning the lose of her child. I wonder how that child will feel about it all. I never thought I could feel so many different emotions from so many points of view.

The triangle also reminds us that even though we are one part of it, we have no control over the triangle. We have no time table, no knowledge of when we will become part of that triangle. We also don't know how many triangles we will start to become a part of just to find out it didn't fit. Tomorrow we could get a call that a mother wants to meet us and it end up not being a good fit. Do we make plans for vacations that could be canceled at the last minute? Do we miss out on family events that we have to travel for? We don't want to put our lives on hold but we have to be ready to cancel our plans if that perfect triangle comes along.

The final part of being a side to a triangle that hasn't been completed yet is that simple things said to you hurt like you wouldn't think. People who mean well who tell you about how they know someone who waited years and years until they found their triangle doesn't help. We know you mean well but those thoughts are always in our minds so please don't help them out. Or when someone says to us "well I hope that works out for you" is a negative thought that we don't need in our life. You see everyday we live the life of expected parents who don't have control of the when. We are you see "paper expecting" which means we are excited that we know one day we will be proud parents. We will be one part of our child's triangle. Until then please don't be afraid to ask questions, say positive words of encouragements , and help us keep living our life until our triangle comes.