1 Month and Counting

We have come to the 1 month mark of what could be a long wait. Since we don't know when things will happen we have made a list of the important things we want to have in the house. After much discussion with Jeff about a baby shower and when we would feel comfortable to have one we have decided that we wouldn't do anything until we are placed.

Why you may ask?

This is a multi layered answer.

1.Adoption is really a roller coaster. Today I could be fine and handle a shower with no issues. But between now and when it would be held we could be picked and have an expected mother change her mind. I would then be devastated. No matter how much you prepare yourself it's still going to hurt.

2.I'm nesting! Yes adoptive mothers nest and I haven't finished cleaning out every inch of the condo. Before I bring a large amount of things home I want to make sure I am prepared.

3.We really don't need a ton of stuff the first few weeks. Heck we don't even know if we will be home right away. If the baby is born out of state we will have to travel and wait for all the paper work to clear.

So until we are placed Jeff and I have our list of things we need. Slowly we are building our baby stock pile. We have our list of things we want, things we need, and things we can live with out. Strangely enough nothing with hunting or fishing has made the list. But we have gotten some great things including the ottoman we got for 1/2 off.

So we wait for our book to be viewed, interviews to happen, and that exciting day we are handed our child. Then and only then will we buy that final important bringing home baby item. Our car Seat!

New Year and New Adventures

January 2, 2017

I haven't blogged in a bit because things have been a bit busy. I wanted to hop on for the new year and keep everyone up to date.

We finalized the album that the expected parents get to see and sent them to the agency. They loved them and have sent them to the different offices located in New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut. Now what will happen with them? When an expected mother reaches the point where she is ready to start considering future parents for her child she along with whom ever she choices will sit down with her counselor. At that time she will be provided the profile albums for hopeful adoptive parents that fit her requirements. An example is Jeff and I are Caucasian, large extended family, and live in the country. Other things that could be my work with the youth group, Jeff's love of the outdoors, or the fact we have a dog. She will be provide a stack of books to look through and then she will say I want to meet these couples or this is the couple I like. This process can happen dozens of times before an expected mother wants to meet us. It is 100% in her control and Jeff and I love this fact.

The other thing we had to do is make our third payment. Money is one thing that everyone knows adoptions take a lot of but no one talks about. The reason because people word their questions so it makes it sound like we are purchasing a child. It really isn't much different then the money it cost to give birth to a child except we don't have insurance to cover it. I will discuss that in an other blog but for now we are in the waiting period. We have paid out just under 1/2 of the money that will need to be paid. We still have money in the savings account, are able to still do a few weekend getaways, so it didn't hurt to much!

So now here we are in the waiting stage. We know our book hasn't been viewed yet so we decided that we are going to count January 1st as our start date. Paperwork, albums, and payments all got completed during the holidays so we aren't counting them just for that fact. The 1st of each month will be our count and just as someone who is pregnant I will mark the month marks with a blog(no pictures of my belly sorry).

We also don't want anyone to be afraid about asking questions. If you have one please ask us either on here or privately. There is never a stupid question, and we would rather you get the answer from us not from someone else. Questions can be about our personal journey or a general adoption question. We can't speak for the expected parents or the point of view of someone who has been adopted but we can tell you what we have learned.

For now Happy New Year!

The Final Cut!

So as you know we finished our home study a few months ago. Since then we have been working hard on our profile album. We knew this process wouldn't be fast so taking a few months didn't surprise us. This one book is going to introduce us to many expected mothers.

Well the first soft copy was sent in to our counselor back in September for approval. Of course nothing ever gets approved on the first draft so we were called in for a prof meeting. What is a prof meeting? Well I don't know what they are normally but for us it was a unique chance to sit and talk with the expected mother counselor. We got to learn about her and she got to find out about us as we all worked on the little details to make the book perfect. When we left that night we felt excited about the book and how it was going to introduce us.

Of course all this was going on during the busiest time of the year for me. Work was picking up, youth group was moving forward, and the new Tastefully Simple catalog was out. Hunting season was in full swing so Jeff was juggling that, work, and of course we both had a home to take care of. So a week went by and I didn't touch the profile, then before I knew it another week had passed. Finally as I ate dinner we worked on adding some fine details, correcting grammar, and giving the book a little more pop.

Before we knew it we were getting ready to go away for a wedding and my goal was to get the new soft copy out to our counselor for final approval. Just over two months had already passed since our home study finalized and I was itching to be done and in waiting mode. We looked forward to going away with a the much needed break and even more we were excited to celebrate two sweet and wonderful people as they become one.

The following week we got the okay to go to final print!!! It was like the sky opened up and Angels came down singing and playing harps. I was nervous when I hit the button and confirmed the order. This one little thing was probably the most import part in the puzzle. This was going to introduce us to our future child's birth mother. This book would be the key to open her eyes to us. Maybe it will be the cuteness of Winnie, the smiling faces of our friends and family, the words Jeff and I wrote about each other that will make her say "I want to meet them". I don't know, no one knows because just like a finger print each expected mothers connection to a waiting parent is unique.

So now 7 copies have been printed. Six have been sent to the agency were they will be sent to their offices in New York, Connecticut, and New Jersey. One will be put away for our future child, so that one day if they want to see it they can. The information within the pages are part of their story and we will keep it private for them. We look forward to the notifications when ever an expected parent sees our book and pray for the day it is seen by the expected mother of our future child.  

Facebook Offcial aka 1 month Approved!

So a few minutes ago Jeff and I decided it was time to let the world know and make if Facebook Official!

Why did we decided this was the time?

Simple I have started working with the youth group again at my church and how can I the youth leader be keeping a secret that will effect youth events. By going public I can always make sure I have people ready to jump in when that moment happens.

There is also an other reason we have decided to let it be known at this time. We are expecting parents! We don't know when we will bring home a bundle of joy home, but like every other expecting parent we are enjoying the planning process! And even though the reality hit me this weekend that I will never get that special parking space at babies r us, we got to go look at cribs with Jeff's mom, and I got way to excited when they had the exact stroller I want.

So we decided that since we are a few days past the 1st month mark it was time to share the great news with everyone!

It's all about Pictures

So when you are making an adoption profile you start to realize how bad you photograph.

And I don't mean oh I blinked in that photo but more like why do I look like death in photo's!

Then you start to realize that the only pictures you have with your loving husband are from your trips to Disney World. Why is this? Well that's easy because I'm the one taking all the pictures. That and the fact that Jeff and I get all awkward when someone tells us to stand together for a picture and I'm normally a hot mess by the time photo's start to get taken. I'm not hair and make up girl so normally after sight seeing all day I look a mess. I wish I was a hair and make up girl but the past few years I have lost interest in trying out what to do with my hair so the pony tail is the way for me!

So what do you do when you have a limited time and a limited budget but need some great pictures to start and end the profile? Simple you call your amazing friend Joe and ask if he could see if his very talented sister Rachel would take photo's of you. We were willing to pay, we had seen some of her amazing work, and we knew she would be just as sweet as her big brother.

So on a hot day in August we meet up with Rachel at one of our favorite locations to snap some pictures. Van Campen Inn was built in the mid 1700's as a residents in the rural farm land along the Delaware River. It was a stop on for stage coaches heading along Old Mine Rd which ran from Philadelphia to Boston. It is now a historical site that sits in the Delaware Water Gap National Recreation Area. It is a piece of history and now it is also part of ours.

Since I'm so pale we tried to take some pictures in the shade but odd shadows didn't help. We were surprised that pale Donna does good against white steps. Of course Jeff loved having the pictures on the steps, but he takes great pictures no matter where he is. So after playing around we were very excited to see how great the pictures came out and there was just one more we just had to have....

Our family isn't complete with out our Winnie!

Rachel did a great job and we walked away with the perfect pictures for our profile.

Home Inspection!!!

Monday~ August 8th

So today we had the final step in the home study!! We spent the last two weeks cleaning the condo and finally getting things organized. I ended having to miss my cousins birthday party because I let the stress of the moment get to me. I cleaned, organized, cleaned again, and got rid of papers I have been keeping for no reason. We worked our butts off this weekend making sure the condo was dusted top to bottom and Jeff even cleaned the carpets. The condo looks great, the doggies smell has gone away and then I made one of our favorite meals. And so on Sunday night we realized the condo smelled! Thank God for our wonderful neighbor who let us use their Febreze and the smell of that wonderful meal was gone.

On Monday morning Jeff, Vickie, Winnie, and I woke up finished some last minute details and waited for our social worker to show up. The condo had the sweet smell of melting wax, the dog was basking in the sun and Vickie was on the hunt for bed bath and beyond coupons for work. Bright sun light soaked through the windows giving the condo that extra little glisten that made me love it to start with and she finally arrived. It was time for that final inspection. The confirmation we lived where we said we lived, and the condo was indeed a safe clean home for our future baby.

Of course I was stuck on a work call when she arrived so Jeff showed her around and I joined them shortly there after. Vickie lucked out with some small talk and confirmation that she indeed has a bedroom here and I didn't make her up. Then it was time for us to sit and talk. She had seen our home, saw that we have our guns locked away, and indeed the home was super clean. A normal weekend dusting and vacuuming was probably all I needed but I was calmer knowing the house was extra clean.

We sat and talked and found out that we indeed had finished the home study! We had passed completing everything is just under 3 months. We are ready to matched with an expected mom! Of course this also means we sit and wait. We wait to be picked and only God knows when that will happen. But we will be ready to bring home that baby when God tells us it is the time!

2nd & 3rd Meetings

So my plan was to have pictures to accompany all my posts but I'm excited to say things are happening fast! Of course the home study portion is all about hurry up and wait. We have 6 months to complete the home study and once it is done we going into a holding pattern. The sooner we finish the home study the sooner our profile is available for the expected parents to see.

So on my birthday we had our 2nd meeting. I worked a half day and then Jeff and I headed to Bergen County to meet with our social worker. This meeting was all about reviewing the stack of paperwork and going over what was missing. Of course our back ground checks through the state still hadn't returned and a few more papers were needed to be filled out. We were very excited to receive the forms on how to set up our profile book. We knew this would happen but to have it happen so fast made us excited. So we headed out from our meeting ready to celebrate my birthday.

Our third meeting was our one on one interviews. This would also be our last meeting in Bergen County during the home study. It was scheduled for two weeks after the last meeting but at the last minute it was delayed a week. Once again I worked a half day before we headed down. We knew that each of us would meet with our social worker for at least 45 minutes privately so we brought our books with us. Our one on ones was all about finding out about our childhoods, families, and our marriage. Even though we had both wrote autobiographies she still asked questions. I have to admit it was easier to talk about it then write about it. We did find out that the state back ground checks still hadn't been returned so that is the only thing delaying us. Since she isn't worried about that because we had such great letters of recommendations she was ready to schedule our home inspection!

So we left with two weeks to be ready for her to come to our home. She looks forward to meeting Vickie and finally have a chance to talk to her. We will also have to have our profile ready for her to review so that it can be sent to print!

Wish us luck as we get ready to finish the home study!